What are the best conversation starters to talk to girls…

…well… ideally the best conversation starter is whatever comes up “naturally” for you at the given moment. You see a girl, you start walking up towards her and say whatever comes out of your mouth first… But wait, the only way things will come up naturally for you like this is if you’re a “natural”, i.e. the kind of a guy who feels at ease walking into a room and charming everyone in there.

Now, The only reason a man like that, a “natural” has things naturally coming out his mouth without him even thinking about what to say is because he feels perfectly comfortable and at ease about approaching anyone, anywhere.

In the mean time, until you have become this person, you will need to use certain “pre-made” conversation starters as a way of
getting and becoming comfortable with approaching people. For you, I have compiled some of the best “conversation starters” that I could find (many of them are out of the so called “seduction community” or the different dating coaches) and some of them are out of the mainstream “public speaking” world, and some are from DeAngelo’s Newsletter. Some of these are only applicable to clubs, some of them are for everyday situations and some of them are for clubs and organizations you belong to, but most can be applied to any setting.

Honest conversation starters

[where you genuinely tell them that you're working on your club skills]

- Hey guys, I’m trying to learn how to get more comfortable talking to people in clubs… so I need your advice. What are some of the worst things and the best things you’ve seen people start conversations with?

- Hey, guys, I’m kinda shy and I want to learn how to get comfortable talking to girls, can you give me some tips how to approach that girl over there? What do you think would be the best approach (you don’t have to actually approach the girl you’re asking them for advice on)

- Yo guys I decided to talk to everyone in this club (mall, whatever), so how ya all doing… good? Awesome. Gotta go meet some more people! You guys have some fun.

- (you can learn to do magic tricks as a crutch) Hey, guys i’m trying to learn how to do perform magic tricks, I want your opinion on how my perfomance is… here goes…

Excuse conversation starters

- Hey guys you seem knowledgeable about this kinda stuff, could I get your opinion about this. Do you think I should wear my hair like this… or this other way? (basically ask an opinion on anything you really care about with a group that looks like they would have an answer to that question)

- Hey, maria is that you… oh… nooo… sorry i had you mixed up with someone else… you look a lot like her

- Hey guys you seem cool. Do you know what other places are working tonight that are having an (insert whatever music you like)

- Hey, did you go to (insert your school)… (yes = oh wow nice…), (no: oh, you looked alot like someone who did)… anyway…

Run-away compliments

[these have to be genuine, you have to genuinely appreciate whatever you are complimenting on, or it will show and backfire. Warning, until you get good, do these in a run-away fashion. Just give the compliment and leave.]

- Hey, that’s a cool / nice [x article of clothing]

- You have a very unique personal style.

Standard Conversation Starters

- Hi, what’s your name (hold out your hand)

- Did you see the latest (movie, cd, whatever) [said as if you've known her for years]

- Hey guys what do you think about the (band, dj, whatever)

- Hey guys how is it going, you enjoying yourselves?

- How did you like the x (whatever) speaker?

- (for example a yoga class) Hey, can you do that new pose the instructor showed us? Yeah me neither, do they expect us to be like plastic man, haha.

- (for example at some meeting for a volunteer organization where you arrive and you notice it’s just you and one other man) Hey, what’s the deal… are people afraid to be early haha?

- (While looking at the oils section in the supermarket, and you notice a woman is doing the same)… Hey, do you happen to know what’s the difference between extra refined and just refined oil? Yeah? Cool, coz I need to get some for a salad… (etc…)

WARNINGS AND TIPS

- Do not memorize these. Memorize the “concepts” behind them. For example, when you read this line above,

(at some meeting for a volunteer organization where you arrive and you notice it’s just you and one other man) Hey, what’s the deal… are people afraid to be early haha?”

…do not sign up for some class and wait until it’s just you and one other person and then recite this line you read on the internet. Memorize the concept which is “oh, something interesting is happening in this environment where I am together with another person, I can ask the person next to me about it”

- Sort them on a scale by how easy or difficult you would feel to use or say any of these, and start using the least-threatening ones on the least-threatening people. In other words, say the lines you would have the easiest time saying, to the people you would have the easiest time to say them to. Over time, start using the more challenging ones with the more challenging people until you reach the point of being a “natural”

- At first only use them to “start” a conversation. Do not force yourself or require a conversation. Your goal at first is to just “say” the conversation starter. The moment the conversation starter has left your lips is the moment you are “successful”. The conversation can end there. You will notice that the more comfortable you get with “delivering” these “conversation starters” the longer and longer the conversations will “naturally” become. Allow this natural growth to happen until you can go up to any person, anywhere and say one of these lines (or rather “types” of lines)… and by then you will notice you have become a natural.

A natural is someone who “finds himself”, simply saying the witty interesting thing without even thinking about it. He finds himself just coming up with interesting, witty stuff to say without thinking about it. He stands in line, the cashier drops something and the natural in a heartbeat makes a witty comment. How do you become this natural? Everyone is born a natural. All you can do to release this natural is to become comfortable with all these different “pre-made” conversation starters with all the different kinds of people that you can.

Oh, and, Make sure to get Joseph’s free Approaching E-Course over at his site, it really is the ultimate resource on conversation starters, and in fact (cough*) I stole some of these ideas from him. For other resources, look at the list I made on books on how to talk to women

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