Here is another cool question from yahoo answers. Check it out and see if it resonates with you.
I know guys that ask girls out all the time- does that mean they just kinda like her and if they say no- it doesn’t hurt so much?
If the guy really likes the girl- is it harder to ask her? Why?
My quick answer to this question:
YES!!!
In fact, this is one of the biggest secrets about guys that most girls don’t get!!! Unless he’s a super-confident, super-high-above-average guy, the odds are that he’s scared shitless from the thought of asking out the girl he’s infatuated with.
In fact, usually guys end up settling when they ask a girl out. They ask the girl out who they “like just enough”… She’s cool enough to “settle for”, but not so cool/amazing that they feel threatened from asking her out. If its an “ok” girl, her rejection doesn’t sting anywhere nearly as much, its like “yeah, ok, whatever”.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
First of all, there are two types of guys:
1. The guys who actually want to commit to a relationship and ask out whoever meets their perfect standards (myself)
or
2. The guys who are completely absorbed by popular culture and influences such as school/work that ask out whoever they think is good enough to make them slightly happy.
The first type of guy always has trouble asking out the girl because he knows very well that he likes her, and that his life would be miserable if she rejected him. Now i said that i myself am one of these guys so thank goodness my girlfriend asked me out or else i don’t know when I’d find the courage to date her!
The second type of guy is more common in a social environment because this type of person was born with the instinct and courage to ask a girl out. On the other hand, this person often has no idea what it’s like to actually commit to a relationship and therefore loses his girlfriend(s) quite often.
It’s simply the male thought processes that determine who we want to date, when, and why. My reason is because i know that i can indeed commit fully to my girlfriend, and i’m already 90% committed to her, as she is to me.
All guys are different.
It comes from when we were cave men.
If a guy ‘asked out’ or approached a girl, and got rejected he would be ostracised by the community and none of the women would bother with him, or if he approached a girl who already had a partner the guy could get killed by the girls partner.
This fear is still unnecessarily programmed into guys brains so they have to overcome this fear to ask a girl out or approach them in a club.
Obviously it is harder if the guy liked the girl more because they would be hurt more if they were rejected.
I don’t know why and I’m one of those guy…is so much easier when u ask a girl that u kindda like so if they do reject..is okie..but to a girl that I have a crush on for years….I couldn’t even find away to talk to her lead alone to ask her…lol..but my best guess is in away I’m afriad that I might lose her as a friend…and second if I don’t ask her out…I won’t feel the painful of the words rejections…is a double blade type of sword…so that y guys tend to have a hard time to ask when they are in those type of situation…that my best answer…w/ me included…^_^
They are afraid because they don’t want to have to deal with the unnecessary rejection words that girls give. They want to know what to expect from a girl before they ask them out, otherwise they will look stupid. Girls can be ignorant about this. If they want someone to ask them out, they need to do their part too. No one is a mind reader!
Answer mine:http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…
Sometimes it is harder for us to ask someone out because like people we’re afraid of being turned down and disappointed especially if we really like the girl.
theyre afraid of being rejected
because they think the girl may eat them