Our site is getting hammered today from the “digg effect”. Basically one of our contributors wrote a very popular ehow several days ago. It was quite popular and was one of the best-rated e-hows I’ve seen… Many a women wrote in to thank our author for publishing it.

Then… something interesting happened… This blog all of a sudden started getting read in the droves by an unbelievable number of people. And were they only reading 1 or 2 articles? Oh no… They were devouring the site (8 views per visitor). I went to find out that that the ehow article that linked to this blog had actually been d-u-g-g, and the rating on ehow’s rating system had gone dooooooooooooooooooooooown pretty darn fast.

Pretty interesting, since the article had been viewed by just as many people in the past several days from every other source of survers (every demographic and location). What is it that diggers [in particular] find so offensive in an article that talks about “talking to girls” that they feel the need to mass-organize down-ratings?

What was even more interesting was reading these guys’ commentary on the digg page itself. If it wasn’t sad, it’s be funny.

At the point where I am right now (having seen dozens upon dozens of shy men mastering these areas)… with what I see daily in the women I (and all these formerly shy men) are meeting… It’s kinda hard to connect to their reality, to even fathom where they come up with this stuff. But then again… I was like that years ago. I had all those fantasies and myths. Back to digg though —->

Some of the humorous gems include:

• You’d better be sure she’s not a cop.
• …or How to get mace in your eyes!
• Article Quote: “Hi, my name is…” Digg Comment: yeah that won’t freak her out.
• Any woman *not* put on the defensive by a random guy approaching them on the street and trying to chat them up probably isn’t someone most of us want anything to do with.
• All women I know would kick you in the balls if you confronted them like that.
• I cant wait for Part 2: How To Rinse Mace Out Of Your Eyes

This brings up an interesting myth that most men who decide not to learn how to approach girls create in their heads: “Women will be bothered or annoyed if I approach them”. Which is somewhat understandable for the level that the article speaks of (something that is far our of men’s reality -> meeting women on the streets). The interesting things is that this the myth that stops the most men from approaching women in general. And yes, that includes in bars and nightclubs, which the article proposes is something one should master before even THINKING about meeting women in public places.

The fact is that 99.999999999% of women who get approached by a charming, social man (and yes, even in the street), at the very least respond with a huge smile and polite, courteous tone. But I guess one of the DiGG commenters was right:

[digg comment] Designer: Pics or it didn’t happen

That made me realize that most men (especially those with less social skills), have never actually seen a “street approach”. Here are some good vids on the subject:

Channel4 Programme: (it’s entirely about the subject)
BBC Programme: (Rewind to 27:53into the video -It starts off with the worst possible street reactions and transitions as the journalist improves)

BUT, WAIT, here comes the second favorite myth, since they can’t use the first myth for not approaching girls in clubs and parties: (assorted comments follow:)

• $ == women
• I’ve got a better way to meet and pick up women. It’s called a Mercedes Benz SLK350.
• How to get girls: Step one: Get muscles, Step two: Teeth-whitening strips, Step three: a sense of humor.
• I don’t even need to read the article and could come up with this: 1) be a hot handsome stud, and 2) showcase a wallet full of $100 bills. There that should do it. They will bend over for you instantly.

I think these guys are beyond help if they’ve actually bought that far into the consumerism culture. The truth is… that a woman doesn’t know what your financial status is when you approach her at a party or at a concert or in the bar (it’s not stamped on your forehead). If women are responding poorly to you… it means you are approaching quite poorly. But STOP, that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Approaching and social skills… are just that SKILLS. When someone says you’re a geek or you have low social skils, that doesn’t mean you’re a “bad person”. That is only what MTV-culture would have you believe.

THE TRUTH is that you simply didn’t have the luck to be born surrounded by loud social aunts, befriend a popular kird or get banged by your teacher when you were young… So what?! It’s not YOU. It’s simply a skill, an attribute. It can be learned like any other. The moment you get offended by reading the label like “low social skills”, “loser” or “geek” you have bought into the same consumerism that has sold you onto the consumerism BS quoted in the misogynistic digg comments above.

Here’s a good article on specifically the “money-illness” meme > THE ONLY WAY TO GET LAID IS TO BE RICH

There was one comment that stood out though:

@oxygen911

This works. In fact, a direct opener like this works 10x better than the indirect (e.g. “Do you know what time it is?”).

Give it a try, you don’t have anything to lose. I guarantee you’ll be blown away at how receptive women are to it.

Which brings in the final point. Try it. If you’re not approaching women in parties (organized by friends) and other social events… Then drop the “myths” you have in your head and try it. If you can’t approach women in clubs and stand around fantasizing about how they’d torture you for approaching them… go ahead and TRY it.

If you can’t try it… There’s something else lying here, and it’s not the women, it’s something most of us men have a hard time admitting. It’s hard to admit “i can’t do it”. Having a cop-out such as “women are x” is extremely convenient.

****FRESH UPDATE*** This just in.

I spent most of the day discussing this digg thing with some of female friends and them shaking their heads in horror. It was interesting to see the kinds of comments they had, and how they almost felt like vomiting seeing these comments.

I also spoke to a very dear female mentor of mine, a great woman. This one was an online chat, so I could record the chat and post it for all of you here. This is her response to finding my article on Digg, and her proceeding to comment to all the guys on there.

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- Hope you don’t mind my lengthy - and mouthy - comment.
- All those dorky comments fueled me up.
- A story for ya.. how I met my husband. I was waitressing, cooking and bartending and one night I found myself having to cover for the bartender and doing ALL THREE to a packed house. I was SO SORE at the end of my shift that I wanted to cry. Then a SHY man comes up and starts massaging my shoulders. I’d talked to him once or twice but he was so shy it didn’t go far. Did I mace him? Hell NO! I married him damnit! LOL

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