One of the most common problems that men who are trying to master the area of approaching and talking to girls report… is a specific fear of approaching “pretty girls”. Now, most guys would have easily solved this problem if they just took my secret quiz, but, there’s more to this issue than just my quiz.
Let’s look at it from a few different angles, and give YOU the secrets to being able to approach ANY girl, any where, no matter how attractive or non-approachable she seems to you. Let’s get ready by looking at the first pre-requisite you need to know.
“Pretty girl” is subjective
And this is a point on which many guys will argue… See, we people want to think that everyone ELSE thinks, tastes and wants things the same way we do. The truth is that however that tastes vary A LOT, and yes even when it comes to women… but… read on… 
Does it mean that a girl you think is hot, some guys will think is “ugly”?
To give you the best example possible… If I put you in a room with a 100 other guys, and I give you all a catalog of the 100 top playboy covers to pick the hottest 10 girls from – Your list will not entirely match the list of any other guy in that room. You will all have all of your girls appear in someone else’s list, but not all of them in the same list.
Now, will you say the any of the girls in the other guy’s top 10 list are ugly? No, in fact you will say most them are pretty ok (you would be super-glad if you’d get them), but they aren’t all be in YOUR top 10.
And here’s why all of that matters:
You only get that super-strong “afraid to approach pretty girls” fear… for women in that “top 10″ category. In other words, If I were to ask you to go and approach the girls in a another guy’s top 10, you would have a much much easier time talking to them. You would of course still have more trouble speaking to these girls than to any average girls, but much less then your own “top 1o” girls. Remember this as it will come in very useful at the solution phase!
For now remember, that is the first major factor that prevents you from talking to them. The subjective and individual value YOU give some of the pretty girls. There is a secondary factor… which is why certain girls are in the “pretty” category in the first place. This is the reason why those girls get chosen into the top10s of most men.
“Pretty girls” are entirely an illusion.
There is a very fun and eye-opening test I like to do with men, and I want you to try it. I want you to look at this girl here, and imagine how hard it would be for you to talk to her and be able to ask her out. Rate the difficulty of asking her out on a scale of 1 to 10:
Ok, do you have a number inside your head? From 1 to 10? Let’s continue.Now I want you to look at this other girl and imagine how hard it would be to talk to her comfortably, and be able to ask her out. Rate it from 1 to 10.
.
Ok, do you have a rating inside your head?
Now get ready as I unveil a secret… its… the… exact… same… girl
It’s the actress Rachel Bilson who did an interview where she volunteered to pose without any makeup… along a few other celebrities.There’s literally hundreds of examples like this one, but be sure it goes for any overly hot girl you see… they all have the same difference in looks without the makeup and fancy clothes.
Isn’t that curious? It’s the exact same girl with the exact same personality and the exact same name and build and she has had lead the exact same life and is of exactly the same likelihood of liking you… as is the first one. But you give all kinds of meaning and project all kinds of different values on the first one (her made-up image). Most men who aren’t good at approaching women tend to prescribe values such as “she’s probably a bitch”, “she looks rude”, “she would never date someone like me”… whenever they see a hotly dressed woman.
You’re actually twice as likely to act confident and charming around a woman that you perceive to be more on the average side.
Why do I so much put emphasis on “perceive”? Because it is entirely within your perception. If you were brought up in another country where makeup isn’t glorified as signifying “attractive”, you would actually be more intimidated from the girl in picture 2. For example: in the 18th century, most of the western world glorified overweight women. For a woman to be at least 30-40 pounds overweight was looked on as being beautiful. And guess what… the fatter a woman was, the more “prized” of a “possession” she was… Hence the more intimidated and undeserving men felt in trying to court her.
Have our genes and basic male biology changes since then? Of course not! The only thing has changed is what society promotes as being beautiful.
Let’s take another example. Take the girl in photo 1, and imagine her gaining 40 pounds. And that’s the only thing about her that changes. Everything else is the same. Now, how likely would you be to go up and talk to her if I asked you to, on a scale of 1-10?
Exactly!
What’s the solution
So, what is the solution? How do you stop being afraid around pretty women?
1) Liberate yourself from society-imposed notions of what is supposed to be beautiful
The very first thing you’re probably likely to think when reading this is… “oh oh, he wants me to start approaching ugly fat chicks… is that what this was about!? Stop being afraid of pretty girls by approaching ugly ones!”
No, that’s not it at all. I want you to get to the point where you can literally see-through make-up… where it becomes transparent to you. I want you to get so aware of the effect make-up and clothing has… That you find yourself giving one of these girls the same “rating” when she has her best “image” on, as when she’s walking around without any makeup in her pajamas and flip-flops.
I do… as do most experienced “playas”. I literally have an x-ray when I see women. I see through their makeup and fancy clothes. You should cultivate that ability too.
2) Progressively desensitize yourself to the different hotness levels
This simply means… take it step-by-step. Push yourself to talk more to the girls you feel somewhat uncomfortable talking to. If for example to you that is “talking to 5s”, then talk to fives more and more… until you reach the point where talking to a 5… you feel the same comfort as when talking to your grandma. When you reach that level, starting talking to some 6s… and then repeat the same… get comfortable, move on to 7s… etc… Until you can talk to any girl of any “perceived” level of beauty with the same level of comfort.
3) Treat women as humans, not as sex objects
You might have heard this before… especially from feminists… but they’re not quite good at explaining it, so I will put it in more practical terms. This doesn’t mean “become asexual” and don’t show sexual interest in women (which many men do because of feminist advice)… this will lead to most women being turned off by your asexuality.
Not treating women as sex-objects… means seeing them as MORE than just “flesh to be pounded”. The simple solution is simple. TALK TO EVERYONE. Become the super-social person who talk to everyone… Old ladies on the bus stop, the cashier man at the bank, the policeman in the park, the kids playing soccer in front of your car… What will tend to automatically happen at this point is that a) You will start seeing women as just another human with her own desires, goals, beliefs and feelings (instead of “the hot flesh”) and b) Women (the hot ones) will feel so much more comfortable around you… they literally sense when you don’t see them as just flesh.
4) Get some education on how to approach women and impress them
Read over some of the books on our list of the top books on approaching women
p.s.
Again… it’s important to be very sexual… It’s a turn on. But you want them to realize you see them as a “super sexy person”, not a “sexy piece of flesh”. There’s a difference. It’s subtle, but quite important.
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