How to talk to black women – Questions from the mailbag

Q: The site is great, love it, very informative and all, must have read it top to bottom. One thing is a problem – it doesn’t work with the sisters. It might work with white women, but how do you approach black women like that? Black woman are very mean and they got this thing about acting up, as if it were cool to act like a bitch. Any tips?

A: This has got to be the most common question we hear from guys. Well women from my ethnicity are different… Well women in my country are different. Well women in my town are different. See, the things is, if you to England, everyone there says “you guys have it easy, girls in your country are nice, english women are MEAN”. If a german guy goes to england he says to the english “You guys have it easy, english girls are so nice, you should see german women”… etc… etc. Or “black women are hard to approach… white women are easy”.

The reason we do this stuff is because it can become quite a convenient excuse to not do anything or not focus on OURSELVES. Just shift the responsibility on the women, and presto, you don’t have to do anything. Now am I saying you’re making this stuff up and that when you approach black girls… that they are sweetest possible kind souls in return? No, not at all. You’re probably right, they probably are somewhat standoffish to you. The main reason is that when we are beginners at this kind of stuff, we tend to not be as smooth as can be, and you know what happens when you approach a woman in a stilted and unconfident manner, right?! You come across as CREEPY. Even though you’re not. But that’s what it’s perceived as.

And we ALWAYS comes across as less confident with the women we are ATTRACTED to… It’s an irony, but it’s a fact of life. If I told you to approach a woman who’s completely not your type, you would approach her a lot more confidently. The solution for you my friend is the same. Just keep on working it until you’ve mastered it.

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