TODAY I am going to talk  of that most elusive of topics when it comes to understanding women. Both in trying to befriend them, and in trying to approach them and get them to be more than a friend.

This is a question that I see asked quite often. “what do women like to talk about?”, “what do women talk about?”.

Instead of answering the question, I am going to translate it for you. Asking this is like asking “What do tall guys talk about”, or “What do blue-eyed people talk about?”…

Ok ok… I took it a bit to an extreme, there are actually some real difference in what women talk about and men do. But I wanted to first point out to you: the most important part, which is that “women” is a broad term. They all have different interests and ideas and beliefs and personalities. They’re individuals.

This is very important to point out, as (believe it or not), the best way to get to know a woman is to talk to her just like you would with a female relative, or a male acquaintance. There are many reasons why treating women as a “different species” inside your head will not bring you the best of results, but I won’t go into them in this particular text. Suffice it to say, talking to women like a normal person is the best possible way to talk to them. In fact, they’ll love it, because 99% of guys who try to talk to them, are always trying to impress them or find a cool interesting way to talk to them. By being normal, you will stand out… As ironic as it seems.

Ok ok, enough of the philosophy, give me The Specifics

I will, as there are after all some real differences in talking to women (especially when you want to get to know them on a “dating” level).

What women like to talk about… is… themselves.

That’s the secret.

And no, that’s not because they’re women. In public speaking communications you will learn that the best way to impress a person is to get them to talk about themselves. It’s human nature.

There’s a double whammy here though. When it comes to approaching and flirting with women, there is a second even more important reason why you make sure you talk about her.

And that’s because most women are sick and tired of getting approached and going on dates with guys who… just can’t stop talking about themselves. Most women haven’t been able to express themselves. They spend most of the time listening.

If you come to her and get her talking about herself, you will make her day like no one else.

How do you do that?

It’s simple. Be genuinely and 100% sincerely interested to get to know everything about her. Ask her those “typical” questions like where you’re from, what music do you listen to… BUT do it with compassion and sincere interest. Listen to every word as she speaks and try to catch on to whatever she betrays as being important to her… and then just lead her to talk about it even more. Try to find out the most interesting and fascinating things about her. That is your mission.

Example,

She: “Well, I study art, I’m 4th year of studies right now. I’m finally going to get that diploma, it’s not like one of those in Paris, but heck a diploma is nice. I don’t know what I am going to do with it, I’ll probably just stick it on some wall somewhere.

You: “Paris? You’ve been in Paris?”

Typical Dorkass: “Yeah well… hhaha, I had the same thing when I graduated cum laude at Princeton and I was like, what am I supposed to do with this thing… Fun times. “

Dorkass trying to listen: “Yeah, so what will you do after you stick it on the wall?”

What you did here, was you did the right thing. You listened between the lines, you were listening for her “hooks”. The thing she throws into the sentence that really matters to her. In this case her love of Paris. People do this generally, they will insert things that are interesting about them, or matter to them in the midst of sentences, but it will be fleeting. The wannabe listener missed it completely and followed the sentence, missing that she was hinting at her love of Paris.

You could have a 60 minute conversation with women where all you do is say “aha”, “wow!”, “tell me more about that”, “really?”, continually finding her hooks and bringing them up with enthusiasm.

That is what women like to talk about with men. And really, if you haven’t take the quiz yet, do yourself a favor and see how you REALLY stack up with women by taking the dating quiz.

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