Is it any wonder that so many men ask how to talk to girls in the club or the bars? Why wouldn’t they? Is there any other place on earth where you can enter and find a room PACKED with beautiful women all dressed in a sexy and inviting manner just standing around?

Imagine if you just walk up and take any one of them home, huh? That would be great wouldn’t it? WELL WAKE UP… it’s not happening to you… yet. The main reason is that you haven’t yet taken my secret quiz here. If you did take the quiz, you’d know why its not happening.

Its not happening

because

you need to master a few crucial skills first:

- How to approach them successfully (without getting blown off)

- How to talk to them (and know what to say and how to say it)

- How to “escalate” and make a move (ask them out, get the number or… gasp, take them home)

So, how do you learn how to talk to hot girls in clubs? Well, a crucial lesson that I learned is that you first have to figure out in which category of men you belong.

Are you the…

1) The kind of a person that is so shy that you have never, or very rarely had a girlfriend?

If you are a person in the first category of (shy men), I would suggest you avoid the clubs altogether and read my article on how to talk to a girl you like, if you are shy.

2) You’re the kind of a person who can talk to most girls in social circles. You’re not exactly smooth, but you do ok. You’re the kind of a guy occasionally stumbles onto a girlfriend every few months, but it’s never really a hot girl, and you wish you could do better since most of the women that you meet are through friends or organizations and you rarely or never approach women you don’t know.

3) You’re the kind of a guy who can approach some women outside of social circles, but occasionally hesitate with the hotter girls. You’re even doing ok with approaching women you don’t know, but you haven’t really reached the point where you feel like you can “approach ANY woman, anywhere and have a fun, charming conversation”

This article is more headed towards the men in categories 2 and 3:

There are several things you need to know about talking to women in clubs and bars

• Women go to to these places primarily to get attention, hang out or get drunk (depending on where you live), they do not go to clubs to meet men or “get picked up”. They love it when men try to pick them up as it makes them feel attractive, but they’re not there to be picked up.
• 95% of the men in the club are staring at them from a far and not doing anything about it all night
• They’re used to the majority of the remaining 5% who do talk to them, being either sleazy players or drunk jerks

What do all of these things mean in practice? It means that your main goal in learning how to talk to girls in the club and bars will be in learning how to appear normal, and believe it or not, this is not an easy task.

What are the best ways to appear normal when talking to *a* woman in a club?

1. Experience (the more women you’ve talked to, the more “normal” and relaxed you will feel)
2. Talking to everyone (bouncer, hot girl, not-your-type-of-girl, guy by the bathroom, bartender)

I know you came here expecting to find a magic line that I can give you, and you can go to the club, see the perfect “ten”, go deliver that line and take that girl home… sorry! It doesn’t work that way. I can give you the exact same line that a guy who does do that uses, and for you, it would fail. The woman would just look at you funny.

Why would she look at you funny even though you’re saying the exact same thing he used? BECAUSE you don’t have his vibe. And in this context “vibe” only means “the way you come across”. Dorky or smooth. Cool or non-polished.

So, how do you become cool and polished in talking to women in clubs?

You talk to a LOT of them.

At first, most of your conversations will be boring, non-polished and dorky (sometimes even a bit ackward)… but over time you will start seeming more and more smooth and polished.

It’s that simple. Yes it is. It IS that simple.

Ok, ok I GOT it… i just go and talk to enough girls until every girl I talk to is charmed and our conversation is fun, smooth and interesting… but WHERE DO I START, what do I say?

Well, you need a “progressive plan”, a sort of a pyramid of progress of how your journey of “club conversational mastery” will go.

1) First you will approach the women and people you find it easiest to approach, with the lines you find the easiest to use.

Locate some lines in my article on Conversation Starters

Find whatever lines that you feel that you can use most easily and then go out in a club and use them on the girls/guys/groups that you find it the easiest to use them on (the least threatening people).

At this stage you will generally be doing “ok”. You won’t be “smooth”, but you will do ok. Most people will respond between neutral and friendly and maybe a few will be super friendly to you.

At this point only have the goal of “breaking the ice”, just “deliver” one of these lines and move on. Your only goal is to get used to “starting” conversations”. Not having them. If some of the friendlier people drag you into a conversation, that’s fine.

2) As you have gotten comfortable with this, and you find that you can consistently use these types of lines on these type of people with as much comfort as you would have ordering food in a fast food joint… you’re read to go to the next step.

Start approaching the kinds of people that are somewhat more-threatening to you with the kinds of lines that you used to feel you wouldn’t be able to use.

At this stage in some time you will be doing pretty well. Most people (even the hotter women) will be responding to you in a very friendly and charming way: eager to talk to you. You won’t be super “smooth”, but you will do much better than the average guy in the club.

3) When you have reached the point that you can say any line to anyone in the club… Go for broke. Approach and small-talk everyone as it comes up for you… and when you see a woman you like, feel free to take the conversation as far as you like.

At this point you should be the smooth, charismatic guy that is liked by everyone in the club. The guys want to be you. The women want to have you.

But really dude there's no reason you should be confused about any of this. If you haven't taken the dating report to see how you stack up with women yet... Click here and see how you stand with women, with the secret dating report.

{ 0 comments }