Ok, so you are shy with women and you’re wondering how to overcome it. Do you want the easiest and most simple way to do it? Well, TAKE MY QUIZ… Lol, seriously, hate to shout, but if you haven’t taken my quiz that gives you personal advice on how to do it, nothing else matters… But let me break it down further for you. Here’s how to talk to girls if you’re shy.
Become Normal
Ok, ok… I know that sounded bad, but it was only to get you attention. See, one of the major reasons that guys who are shy with women, tend to remain so is because they have a very nasty goal implanted into their head. Do you know what that goal is? They imagine they have to be SUPER-popular and charming over-night. This is a false goal.
The biggest reason that guys who are shy with women continue being shy with women is because they are always trying to become an always-smiling, super-talkative person that is liked by everyone… And of course… they fail.
Am I saying you shouldn’t have this goal?
No.
All I am saying is that the fastest way to get there is to insert an intermediary step of “becoming normal”, of becoming “average” FIRST.
One of the best categorizations I have seen of people on the “approaching women” scale is the one in Xuma’s excellent program (listed here) where he separates men into 3 categories:
1) The kind of a person that is so shy that you have never, or very rarely had a girlfriend?
2) The kind of a person who can talk to most girls in social circles. He’s not exactly smooth, but he does ok. This kind of a guy occasionally stumbles onto a girlfriend every few months, but it’s never really a hot girl, and you wish you could do better since most of the women that you meet are through friends or organizations and you rarely or never approach women you don’t know
3) The kind of a guy who can approach some women, but occasionally hesitates with the hotter girls. He’s doing ok, but he hasn’t really reached “mastery” over talking to women.
4) The kind of a person who can enter into any place, any time and charm every single person in there and have everyone smiling and happy to see him.
Why am I telling you all this?
Because shy guys ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS set about on their “overcoming shyness” journey by heading directly for category 4. It’s like walking to a gym and for years and always trying to lift the 200 pound dumbbell without ever having lifted anything less!
So, what’s the solution
The solution to becoming normal is very, very simple… Become normal (category 2), become average (category 2). Start lifting the 10 pound dumbbell.
Yeah, but how do I do that exactly?
Here’s how:
- Join as many organizations and clubs as you can. These can be volunteer organizations, hobby groups, yoga classes, photography classes, dance lessons, gyms, health clubs, martial arts, gamers conventions… anything that involves being involved with large groups of people
- Just make it a goal to be a regular there. Put no pressure on yourself to “be popular” or “make friends”. Make it your only goal to just go there “regularly”. That’s your only goal. Be careful to not fall into that trap of feeling you have to be popular. Just “appear” in all these places, and let yourself become a “category 2″ naturally… but do make sure to also…
- Subscribe to this blog and start applying the different techniques about conversations as you learn them.
- Email me at any time with specific questions so I can improve this blog with EXACTLY what you need
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